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Joke of the Day
"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."
Next Joke
"My boss wanted to know why I was away for so long. I told him I was in the restroom and he doesn't believe me. He insists I'm lying but I'm really just full of shit."
"Some guy commented on my all-black outfit today: ""So whose funeral is it?"" I told him I haven decided yet."
"What's brown and sticky? Shit"
"I like my tautologies like I like my tautologies."
"Nobody claims to like cancer when they're first diagonosed But after a while, it tends to grow on you."
"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"
"Blondes are dumb whores... They all think less than equals three."
"Fact if it's mother is trapped under a car, baby adrenaline gives a baby the super strength of eight babies. But that's not enough babies!"
"The past, present and future walk into a bar It was tense"