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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? The picture only needs one nail to hold up."

"How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs? None. He fell."

"You're like an opera singer.... Cause it's all about me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-meeee ----Robert Kelly"

"How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch? The screen stays black when you check the time."

"I'm so old that I was the tv remote when I was a kid"

"A zebra walks into a bar... He orders a drink and leaves. A few minutes later a horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks ""Hey man! What happened to your pajamas?"""

"My friend is dealing with a really severe Viagra addiction. He's having a hard time with it."

"Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time."

"If I got 1 for everytime a girl called me unattractive I'd be attractive"

"Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them."