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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me what happened to the hamster. I told her I put Red Bull in its water bottle ""Oh, so you're going to tell me it grew wings and flew away?"" ""No,"" I said. ""It died."""

Next Joke
 
"Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to."
"What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry"
"What does a Chinese gay man have for dinner? Goo of Sum Yung Gai"
"If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."
"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."
"""OMG!!! HeRE LiEs BRiaNnA RiP! :*("" - Tombstones in 2060"
"Going to a party tonight, but keeping it mellow. One or two glasses of cocaine and that's it."
"*guitarist breaks guitar* HELL YEAH *drummer throws drums* YES YES *singer stabs a bunch of guys* OH MY GOD *bassist plants a bomb* STOP"
"If I kept a record of how many steps I walk every day in a file... Would it be called a Pedofile?"