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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!"

"How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico? Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common? They both died before finishing a race."

"<--------- This guy can't think of anything to tweet so he's gone & done a cute little arrow & pointed it at his Avi with a funny comment."

"* drinks 6 pack of muscle milk * * checks for abs *"

"Swimming Is Good For You... Especially if you are drowning."

"So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way."

"Yes, lady who took two parking spaces. I'm the reason you can't get in your car from the drivers side. Have a nice day :)"

"I was gonna go to the gym today... ... But it didn't work out."

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Talk to your stepdads about jazz. Like, just generally be polite and ask people about their interests."