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Joke of the Day

"(WW1 1915) ENGLISH GENERAL: Plan? ENGLISH LIEUTENANT: Well, the trenches can be used to- ENGLISH MAJOR: to symbolise man's emptiness, yes..."

"I just met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds pretty freaky, *dozen tit.*"

"Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A Bloodhound."

"On what day of every week do soft drinks sell the most? thursday"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a washer? When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week."

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast It's mostly Sunni"

"How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs? He hires Santa's elves during the off-season."

"Did you know people that often misspell have the same blood type? Type-O"

"I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce."