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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between old people and babies (offensive) Old people don't die if you fuck them in the ass."

"My wife wanted bigger breasts. I told her to rub toilet paper between them and over time they'll grow huge. She asked, ""How do you know it will work?"" ""It worked for your ass didn't it?!"""

"As a child I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog. Courtesy of Gary Delaney"

"When I said ""I was afraid of the dentist"", I meant the bill."

"Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear ""Caution! Wide Turn"""

"If the camera really does add 10 pounds Do Ethiopian kids even exist?"

"How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle? Nail it's other hand to the floor."

"I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company. We're not very good."

"If Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman had a baby together, what would the kid be like? I know there's a joke in there somewhere..."

"What does a Russian need to drink to get his alcohol level to 200mg.. ..nothing for 3 days."