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Joke of the Day

"What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world? You mean across?"

"Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology? When it finally happened, he was beside himself."

"When she screams ""deeper!""... But you're all out of poems."

"How does a feminist ask for Halloween candies? Trigger Treat."

"If I'm introduced to a proctologist at a party ... ... do I shake his hand?"

"Instead of a sign that says ""Do not disturb"" I need one that says ""Already disturbed"""

"Leave comments under the college videos on porn sites. Like, 'Kelly, you better be getting an A if you're fucking the professor. Love Mom'"

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"What is a jew on a swing? A annoyance to German snipers."

"My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!"