228890

Joke of the Day

"What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN? Saddest joke ever."

"I put sea salt on my seafood, so they can be reunited. Because I like happy endings."

"Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex"

"What do you call a thrash can that cant close A thrash cannot (hahaha.....)"

"I took the shell off of my racing snail.... I thought it would make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish."

"What do you call a pile of dogs? A ruff terrain."

"What do you call an Asian man with one leg? Tie Won Shoo"

"Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep"

"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."

"It's hard to imagine someone getting any pleasure from beastiality... but that doesn't stop me from trying."