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Joke of the Day

"What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN? Saddest joke ever."

"Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !"

"Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning? He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word."

"ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!"

"My cat acts pretty tough for someone who disappears for 3 days anytime I sneeze."

"Some fairy tales start with ""once upon a time"". Others start with ""If I won the elections""."

"3 Muslims walk into an airport and a metro station in Brussels, what happens? 216 virgins."

"Any size pizza can be a personal pizza if you're depressed enough."

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator"

"I got fired from my job at the Orange Juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"