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Joke of the Day

"Last night I poured a hot bath, lit candles and turned on the radio. Then I threw them into the bath because I'm a guy and was curious."

"Don't force funny huh? Well, I have funny tied to a chair in my basement and...unless we become fast friends... ...he's losing a knee cap."

"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"Jesus christ, guys! Can we stop arguing about politics for ONE second and change subject to something more lighthearted? So what are your guys' thoughts on abortion?"

"What do you do to a dog that doesn't obey your commands? You kill it."

"I think I figured out why Al Gore thought he invented the internet. He just misheard the word ""algorithm"""

"A black guy in the library just asked me where the colored printer is... It's 2015 dude, use whatever printer you want."

"""Moo."" - hipster sheep"

"Sorry to hear about your breakup. If it's any consolation, I don't know what he ever saw in you."

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."