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Joke of the Day

"Don't force funny huh? Well, I have funny tied to a chair in my basement and...unless we become fast friends... ...he's losing a knee cap."

"A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York."

"[Request] I need a cutesy pun related to couples/love and umbrellas/rain. Sort of like ""Eiffel for you"", or ""never leaf me"" if you know what I mean. But please nothing too long :)"

"my son just asked me where do pizzas come from adn has yet to ask me where do babeys come from. thats my boy"

"Why are politicians buried 6 feet under? Because deep down, they're good people."

"I've been told that red wine compliments a steak. But so far my glass hasn't said anything nice at all."

"Why are there so many Redditor archeologists? Because /r/jokes loves digging up the past."

"God grant me the patience to accept the people whose outfits I cannot change."

"Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, ""I think you mean 'bowel'."" I said, ""Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."""

"What did the welshman do... ...when his girlfriend asked him how many sexual partners he'd had? Fell Asleep"