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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975? 'Cause Charlie don't serf."

"Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?"

"How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you? Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you?"

"What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk? You're gonna be pooped after this."

"What does Shakespeare's dog eat? Iambs!"

"What happens when you fingerbang a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red."

"The cast of ""Game of Thrones"" had a very special visitor Queen Elizabeth. A lot of the Royals on ""Game of Thrones"" get offed. It leads me to believe this visit was arranged by Prince Charles."

"80% of making $120 million is just showing up."

"Bill and Ben are in the bath... Bill says ""flob-a-dob-a-dob!"" Ben says ""you do that again, and I'm getting out..."""

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? DOG: Cat person, definitely."