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Joke of the Day
"When I awoke from the accident and they told me my fingers were broken... it was hard to grasp."
Next Joke
"High grades The son comes to his father: ""Dad, I got a 7.5 on my test"" ""Congratulations son! In which test?"" ""Breathalyzer. And they kept your car..."""
"I was tickling my younger brothers feet last night, then my mother had a right go at me. Something about waiting till he's born first."
"What's the best part of Chinese food? The 4/10 cookie"
"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change shit."
"What do you call a waterfall that's all dried up? A waterfell."
"My welcome mat says, ""Oh shit! Not you again!"""
"A libertarian vote walks out of a bar ... ... and goes, ""God, I'm wasted."""
"Damn girl, are you a maple tree? Cause I would tap that, and you have an impressive root structure which is where this metaphor falls apart."