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Joke of the Day

"How can anyone focus on world peace when we can't even get everyone to use the same date format?"

"I can not stand the new style with hip hop music, they say one word then repeat it a dozen times. It is so freakin annoying and lame lame lame lame lame."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up cunts."

"My funeral instructions to my family were to have me cremated, and I told my best friends under no circumstances should I be cremated."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said ""seriously?"" after a comment you made during an argument."

"Why is Budweiser like sex in a kayak? Its fucking close to water."

"fat girls with small boobs are the reason i have trust issues"

"A man gets pulled over, the officer says to him ""How high are you?"" The man replies, ""No officer it's 'hi, how are you?'"""

"Johnny wants to go bathroom Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!"

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn't ""fun to be around."""