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Joke of the Day

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn't ""fun to be around."""

"Two satellites got married the wedding was okay, but the reception was incredible!"

"A tap, tap, tapping at my door Knock, knock. *Who's there?* Control freak. *Contro-* (interrupting) Now you say, ""Control freak who?"""

"I hate when people inbox me to tell me how funny my status es are... Motherf*cker there is a ""like"" button for a reason!"

"What is a Redneck virgin? A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!"

"I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn."

"Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar."

"British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray."

"Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark"

"What did the vegatable say to the fruit? Turnip"