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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says""DING!"""

"Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!"

"Every time I walk into a Wal-Mart I think to myself, "" I've never seen so many of God's mistakes all in one place."""

"My girlfriend calls me Duracell Because I last up to 10 times longer"

"Nowhere is it more evident That the middle finger IS a suitable mode of communication Than when driving to work"

"My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he's a lamp...what does he know...."

"In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him""Hi, how are you""? ""Sorry I don't speak Chinese"" Great. I've raised a douche!"

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun"

"Nice 35 yr. old unlit candle, every grandma in the world."

"I've stopped asking what the meaning of life is. My question now is: ""Why do only technologically-challenged people use self-check-outs?""."