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Joke of the Day

"In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him""Hi, how are you""? ""Sorry I don't speak Chinese"" Great. I've raised a douche!"

"Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?"

"I'd love to get myself a job inspecting mirrors! I could really see myself doing that."

"I wanted to kill myself by drinking 100 beers, but when I finished my second one, I felt much better."

"People are shitting on gorilla kid's mom for not watching. My mom had three kids under 5. I could've run a terrorist cell outta my treehouse"

"I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works."

"Sometimes i get scared robots are going to take over. Then i use a motion-controlled sink."

"Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks."

"One good thing about premature ejaculation is that porn lasts you a very long time. I bought a video back in 1992 and I still haven't made it past the FBI warning thing."

"My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg."