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Joke of the Day

"Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life."

"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"

"Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he's not much of a looker."

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"What did the Hand say to the Penis when they first met.... Nice to beat you!"

"""this is your captain speaking. i bet you're reading this in a man's voice. well guess what! i'm a woman captain. women are captains too."""

"What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager"

"So many words sound the same When someone calls you from a homophone."