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Joke of the Day

"So many words sound the same When someone calls you from a homophone."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"*Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats* Guy who's about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!"

"My sleeping pills say to take them and immediately go to bed, but I feel like I have plenty of time, so km ufmcmszbv ishzn hdu flerf."

"What happened when the gay guy put a nicoderm patch on his wiener? He cut down to two butts a day"

"my mom's cat has been in our family since 2002 and i never saw it get a boner til tonight. animals are awful and perverted"

"they found out a man was having sex with a sheep and when the sheep was asked what it was like, all it could say was BA- A-A-D!!, BA-A-A-D!!!."

"What did the skeptical turd say to the conspiracy theorist asshole? You're shitting me, right?"

"Thinking about getting married? My wife got mad at me for doing all the yard work because we are in a fitbit step challenge together."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"