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Joke of the Day

"Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze it's like a little party on your face."

"[job interview] Interviewer: are you familiar with microsoft word Me: yes i've heard that word many times"

"4: ""Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."""

"A little ad suggestion for durex We contain your orgasms! Literally."

"I recently came into a lot of money. The bank teller wasn't happy about having to use gloves."

"[Ouija board] ""Hey spirits, talk to us"" W H A T S U R F R I E N D S N A M E H E S C U T E ""fml"""

"The good news First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

"How do you know your sister's having her period? Your dad's dick tastes weird."

"Gay roulette... ...when you have a glory hole and there's a 20% chance you're getting a dude."

"I saw a giraffe with a short neck It was sad, or a deer"