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Joke of the Day

"What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee"

"I tried to learn how to play the drums. but i'm just a beat off."

"Whats the difference between congress and parliament? Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day."

"What did dick say to the condom? I'm going in cover me !"

"I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles."

"Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses? Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me."

"Finding a guy to marry who is rich enough to pay off my debt, but not so rich he wants a prenup is, like, so much harder than I anticipated."

"Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic."

"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"

"I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field"