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Joke of the Day

"I just saw two blind and deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands down one anothers knickers.....I think they were lip reading?"

Next Joke
 
"WIFE: You can't tell kids they're grounded anymore ME: Why not? W: They weren't our kids M: You did see how badly they packed our groceries?"
"unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life"
"What do you call Wolverine post-op? An x-man."
"Nothing says ""I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich"" like giving your 2 year old an iPad."
"life is just a series of people giving up on you til your body gives up too but yeah sure, I'll bring my famous guacamole to the baby shower"
"Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf"
"If it weren't for smoke detectors, I'd never know when my food was ready."
"Your mama is so fat ... She broke the stairway to heaven."
"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""