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Joke of the Day
"So a woman is driving down the road..... ....... Forgot women can't drive."
Next Joke
"[holds up bread] ""This is my body"" [holds up wine] ""this is my blood"" [holds up puppy] ""and this is my new pet"" [apostles go fricken nuts]"
"Hey Kevin, why do you like fungi on your pizza? Cause I'm a vegetarian."
"How do you convey body language? With your figure of speech"
"What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry? Chicken tikka m'sala"
"What move does the karate kid practice the most? He wax off everyday"
"What do you say to a giraffe? ""Hi, Asshole!"" (Made that up myself, I did.)"
"Wow, busy day for Donald Trump. Tomorrow he'll probably ban dogs from homes, end Star Wars, put spiders in every shower and outlaw dreaming."
"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""
"Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still."