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Joke of the Day

"3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday..."

"I went for a job interview today... The interviewer said to me, What would you say your greatest weakness is? I said, I think Id have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength."

"What does the nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business!"

"2 midgets and a black guy walk into a room, how many people are in that room? 1 and 3/5ths"

"whats the definition of a will? (lol come on guys its a dead giveaway)"

"Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain. Her husband strokes her back and says, ""I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"" She says, ""Don't worry. It's not your fault."""

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"Decisions Sometimes life gives you really hard decisions. Then other times It gives you really easy decisions like whether you should choose the lettuce or the ice cream"

"What do a pizza and this joke have in common? They're both cheesy."

"The Big C Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. ""What's the matter?"" I asked. ""I've got the big C,""he said. ""What, cancer?"" ""No, dyslexia."""