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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal? He dumped his girlfriend...*flies away*"

"I give lions haircuts by the river for a living What I do is all but manestream."

"Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?"

"Your ass must get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth!"

"Have you ever gone camping with Crohn's disease? Shits in tents."

"If Hillary wins in 2016, it's gonna be a huge year for shoulder pads"

"D'ya hear about the guy that drowned in a bowl of muesli? A currant pulled him under."

"There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt."

"Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork."

"Got laid off."