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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon GO servers are like my life right now. Up and down and disappointing anyone who knows what it is."

"Time for a limerick... On the first date with her new man, Keith Young Pamela let out a queef. He tried to ignore That she's surely a whore But at least her bjs had no teeth!"

"What do drunk female pirates like to give up? DA BOOTY!"

"GENIE 1: he wanted money so i made him a bank robber, ha GENIE 2: i just...gave mine money GENIE 1: LMAO YOU GUYS, JERRY JUST GAVE IT TO HIM"

"A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend."

"(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat? Notseafood"

"What do you call an upbeat and reasonable fortune teller? A happy medium."

"What is the last thing you want to hear after sucking Willie Nelsons dick? ""That's not Willie Nelson."""

"Is yur name Atilla cuz you can be my hun anytime!"

"Because of the disregard towards safety techniques people not only die but are also born."