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Joke of the Day

"How does a Narcissist change a lightbulb? He holds it up to the socket and the world revolves around him."

"one of the tvs at this bar is showing hockey and the other is showing an infomercial for a blender and more people are watching the blender"

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags."

"Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever."

"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"

"Why are gay guys always butthurt? Oh yeah."

"There were two fish in a tank. There were two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" How much do pirates pay for their earrings? A buccaneer."

"What's a blind person's least favorite theme park? Seaworld"

"If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like ""I can't even hear you bear"""

"What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home? Thanks for raisin us"