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Joke of the Day

"Whenever our neighbor's dog is barking, I know there's either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened."

"I was surprised that my Christian clothing company is extremely popular with transvestites. As it turns out, they love Cross Dressing."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Anything, what's he gonna do about it?"

"I had a job at a lumber yard, but I soon got board."

"I gave love a bad name. I called it Harold."

"My leg goes to sleep as soon as the dog starts humping it. I'm afraid they're married."

"My new book about doing your own hair color is a total flop. I haven't sold one copy of A Guide to Dying Alone"

"My pastry factory has been pretty successful... So far we've had a good turnover."

"Did you hear about the 80 pound midget with 40 pound balls? They say he was half nuts."

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant."