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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Anything, what's he gonna do about it?"

"(I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)"

"The blind soccer world cup... ... where there's no 'eye' in 'team'"

"What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z? They're not infallible"

"A man walks into a library to check out a book for men with small penises. The librarian looks on her computer and says, ""I don't know if it's in yet."" ""Yeah that's the one"""

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? In little Nazis."

"Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him ""a promising Rookie""."

"Why did the lobster blush? Because the see weed."

"If a cow laughs, does milk come out his nose?"

"What were the Zodiac Killer's Plans for Vacation? To take a Cruz."