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Joke of the Day

"Her: 911, what's your emerge- Me: SOMEONE'S WEARING CROCS! Her: Sir, that's not an em- Me: WITH A FANNY PACK! Her: I'll send an officer."

Next Joke
 
"I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line."
"Who is Donald Trumps favorite Pixar character? WALL-E"
"I saw a VW hybrid today. It runs on gasoline and lies."
"Coffee- LET'S DO THIS SHIT Weed- Don't be ridiculous"
"""Dad why do you write so slow?"" asked Dennis. ""I have to"" replied his father. ""I'm a slow reader."""
"What do we want? MORE EXISTENTIALIST JOKES! When do we want them? WHY?"
"I need some sun. My legs are so white they just drove to Whole Foods in their Prius."
"I have so may gay friends... I can't keep them straight."
"What is it called when you sleep talk about your subconscious feelings ? A Freudian Sleep."