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Joke of the Day

"What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit."

"If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day but... if you teach a kid how to make pop tarts your job as a parent is pretty much done"

"The price of a balloon has really gone up recently I think it's because of inflation"

"Light a fire for a man and keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"One time a guy left a full glass of sangria behind on a first date and I pretended I forgot my sunglasses so I could run back and chug it."

"What did Ron Goldman say to Nicole Brown Simpson at the Pearly gates? Heres your fucking sunglasses!"

"I think the reason old people sleep in separate bedrooms is so they don't have to wake up next to someone dead."

"So Mrs Lincoln... Besides that, how'd you like the play?"

"I was rejected at this job interview that I had. Apparently, ""gang rape"" is not a suitable example to prove that you are good at working in teams."

"I didn't get that job I wanted testing invisibility potions. Apparently they don't hire blind people."