48010

Joke of the Day

"Why did the traffic light turn red? You'd turn red too if you had to change in the street."

"""It's impossible."" said pride. ""It's risky."" said experience. ""It's pointless."" said reason. ""Ggrraadrttgrrtrr."" said Chewbacca."

"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"

"I dropped my laptop in the ocean. Now there's a dell rolling in the deep."

"I just crashed a massive party... ...bus. Luckily there were no major injuries"

"I illegally download music, but only Metallica. They seem to be pretty cool about it."

"When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes."

"My front door was locked so I tried to force it open. Then my wife said ""You're not a Jedi Paul, just use the goddamn key."""

"What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner. (Thank you Dennis Miller)"

"Last weekend I prevented a rape. It didn't take much. You can do it too. I finally convinced her"