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Joke of the Day

"I was having sex with a girl the other day, I was getting tired so I asked her to go on top... She replied ""you haven't raped anyone before have you""."

Next Joke
 
"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."
"Jesus: Give them fingernails in case they start itching. God: Alright, but wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't reach their backs?"
"What do you call a rapper who's feeling bitter? NaClmore"
"Don't tell me what your cats' names are, I'll call'em what I want. Oh, Mittens & Snuggles? WRONG. THAT'S WILDSTYLE & THAT'S SNACKMOUTH."
"Santa loves the rich kids more."
"My attorney likes to earn from my mistakes."
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed face first"
"Any girl can give you pics I can give you a headache"
"What's a dead baby's favorite holiday beverage? Infanticider."