112878

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dead guy hanging on your wall? Art."

"I thought /r/TwoXChromosomes was a mental retardation subreddit. The posts didn't convince me otherwise"

"A lot of people have been asking me what I'll be doing in 5 years' time? C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"The other day I was almost arrested for mooning. Public indecency, my ass."

"Why are women so afraid of looking stupid? Because they don't want the world to know!"

"Q: What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car? A: A windshield viper."

"Nice tan. I'm guessing your mother is white & your father's a sweet potato?"

"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'"

"I know someone who talks like an owl"

"The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue."