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Joke of the Day

"A lot of people have been asking me what I'll be doing in 5 years' time? C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why did the bicycle fall over?? Because it was two tired..."

"Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid. I was petrified."

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"Aliens are taking people with . . . . . . .Big Dicks! Dont worry you are safe! Im just telling my favourite alternative news site that i wont be around for a while!"

"Your cough sounds much better this morning? It should. I've been practicing all night!"

"I've been reading this great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down."

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and says ""some asshole has my pen"" edit: Original Joke by Jimmy Carr (thanks /u/gacres57)"

"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."