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Joke of the Day

"Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat"

"What oil does Trump use in his cooking? Rapeseed oil"

"Eye no howe too spiel"

"Two guys in CA walked off cliff playing Pokemon. Natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec2."

"Punchline Wait, I probably wasn't supposed to put that in the title."

"All I'm saying is, I've never seen my Ex and Satan in the same room together."

"..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad. My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality.."

"My girlfriend's vagina is like a Tesco shopping trolley It takes a pound in."

"What did the overweight ballet dancer perform ? The dance of the sugar plump fairy !"

"Never ever stop pushing yourself. They say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Go beyond it and create history."