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Joke of the Day

"[REQUEST]: Looking for Altitude Competition Flying Joke Looking for the old joke about several pilots bragging about their flight altitudes (?), and then the last one one-upping them all."

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"Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10 Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10. His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'"
"Helium walks into a bar and orders water. The bartender apologises, ""sorry sir we are out of water"" ... It doesn't react"
"Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to ""sweep the leg"". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it."
"The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him"
"What do you call a chicken surrounded by men? A buk-buk-BUKKAKE!"
"[spider confronting me] him: yo did you steal my coat? me: [wearing 8-sleeved coat] no this is mine"
"God hates a coward! ...He ain't to fond of idiots either"
"guy: hey that's a great truck. what kinda engine? me: [rubbing the hood] it's got a truck engine"
"Just sold my glove puppet collection. A collector called round and offered me 150 to take them off my hands."