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Joke of the Day

"Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to ""sweep the leg"". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it."

"So Russia has been running out of resources lately... I guess you can call them the Red Scarce."

"What type of bees make milk? BOOBIES!"

"I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set."

"Raising children takes a village, preferably one with many vineyards."

"What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flamethrower"

"Why don't kleptomaniacs have a sense of humor? Because they take everything, literally...."

"This happened over the weekend I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again."

"My boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?! Me: Because my bed is at home."

"Name three things that come in a little yellow box Kodak film, Dots candy and Woody Allen."