204645

Joke of the Day

"Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to ""sweep the leg"". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it."

"Sometimes I like to lie on the kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb."

"What is Andreev-Reflection? When electrons are reflected assholes by a superconductor."

"She said no! *sobs tears of joy* -me after proposing"

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."

"When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool."

"Kids are like farts You only accept them if they're yours"

"I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. ""Sir, those are Band-Aids."" Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass rex"

"Why did Napoleon return from exile? He needed more Elba room."