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Joke of the Day

"The only way for America to not fuck up in the next election. Vote for Bill Clinton. Left the nation with national Surplus, and he got his dick sucked doing it."

"if you are on a magazine cover with the headline 'my new body' and that body is not, like, a cheetah or horse, missed opportunity"

"Say - didja hear about the LGBT who keeps telling bad Bruce Jenner jokes? (wait for it ... wait for it Yeah - every one thinks he's a real bruisance ..."

"Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted."

"How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here"

"How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't, it was just an Aleutian."

"What did Charles Darwin name his book about food? *On the Origin of Feces*"

"JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the"

"How do all racist jokes start? *Looks over left shoulder* *Looks over right shoulder*"