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Joke of the Day

"Just had my first threesome but it was not what I had envisioned. The other two guys seemed to like it just fine."

"Going to my daughter's middle school basketball game. In light of recent events, I've asked her to leave the guns at home."

"Reddit is like Porn...... No matter what weird shit you are into there is a category for it."

"Why are all early birds Catholics? Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish off a race."

"I thought it was good to get a bonus. It sucks getting a bonus chromosome."

"Don't cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It's a waste of time!"

"What do you call a black guy on the moon? An Astronaut, you fucking racists."

"I don't see the point of buying an autobiography when I can just flip to the last page and read the author's biography."

"Kid, ""Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a gopher from a funny animal video."" Parent, ""The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Allen! Allen! Allen! Steve!"""