124574

Joke of the Day

"Going to my daughter's middle school basketball game. In light of recent events, I've asked her to leave the guns at home."

"Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed. Nearly everything that company does is selfish."

"What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The large pizza can feed a family of four."

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None"

"""Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?"" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. ""I don't work here"" I yelled back."

"If nerds play RPGs, what do Geeks play? RBGs."

"We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it."

"My wife and I have an ongoing game called ""Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House"" that she doesn't know we are playing"

"I started a fertilizer store but but got sued by Apple Inc. They patented selling overpriced shit for fruits."