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Joke of the Day

"Bad news for women: there's a glass ceiling. Good news for women: that's one more thing you get to Windex!"

"A dozen fish are in a tank. Then one proclaims: ""Can anybody drive this thing?"""

"lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies"

"Why did the Frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the Chicken."

"""Hey, your fly's down"" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings"

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? ... you pick him up and suck his dick."

"I like my bourbon the way the Chinese like their women... 11 years old and mixed up with coke."

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"My father was a man of few words.He used to say, son..."

"My boss gave me a nice pat on the back the other day.. It made things a bit awkward on the shitter though."