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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, your fly's down"" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings"

"I never wash my fruit, in case anybody's wondering how badass I am."

"whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, ""oh, this is the one u were talking about"" &watch the awkward stares!"

"I hit every traffic light coming home from work today. I should probably learn how to drive better."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amsterdam ! Amsterdam who ? Amsterdam is like plum jam but made from hamsters !"

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"What do you call two crows? Attempted murder"

"How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed"

"What do you call a Mexican with small muscles? No whey Jose."

"Joke spy Why did the spy stay in bed? Because he was undercover"