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Joke of the Day

"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb Then I realized that my life was a joke..."

"I like how we say ""vegan"" now instead of ""eating disorder""."

"Im using free internet because my neighbor did not protect his wifi via password."

"I'm pretty sure this new iTunes update is gonna turn things around for me."

"If I fave ur tweet on a Friday night pls know I'm doing it from the party club, where I am partyclubbing with my [opens dictionary] friends"

"If I were a male porn star My name would be Jesus and right before each money shot I would say, ""Get on your knees and close your eyes. Jesus is coming soon."""

"What does Sifu stand for in Kung Fu Panda? Does it mean ""Sorry I Fucked Up""?"

"What do the titanic and Madelaine McCann have in common? They're both at the bottom of the ocean and full of seamen"

"If I had a dollar for every time I think about you, I'd start thinking about you."

"Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground!"