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Joke of the Day

"My mom learning how to use twitter is like the raptors figuring out how to open doors in Jurassic Park."

"Sexy is being tickled with a feather... Kinky is being tickled with a chicken"

"Hey, do you see that big yellow thing in the sky ? Yeah, the world revolves around that. Not you."

"Why did the coke dealer retire? He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses"

"This girl came up to me today, and claimed she knew me from her vegetable club. I'd never met herbivore."

"The job interviewer asked me to define turnover. I said, ""That's what I do before I go to sleep."""

"What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees? A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)"

"[aquarium] Me: ""That's a lot of octopussies to occupy a tank."" Guide: ""it's octopi."" Me: ""Oh..that's a lot of octopussies to octopi a tank."""

"DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts"

"One of the funniest jokes on reddit. /r/atheism"