202909

Joke of the Day

"[aquarium] Me: ""That's a lot of octopussies to occupy a tank."" Guide: ""it's octopi."" Me: ""Oh..that's a lot of octopussies to octopi a tank."""

"I can prove to you that electronics are powered by smoke... by the irrefutable fact that they stop working when the smoke leaks out!"

"What do you call a natural blonde who dies her hair? Artificial intelligence."

"Where is the gangster egg from? The Upper Sunny-Side"

"I wish I had parents like Dora They let that bitch go everywhere."

"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."

"What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner? A pan, duh!"

"I'm sorry that I'll never be as fun in person as I am in drunk texts."

"My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face. I wear contacts."

"Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches, and there are no dental records."