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Joke of the Day

"Why is a physicist's dream vacation in Alaska? Because of all the cold fission it has."

"Everyone is at the store buying milk and bread to prepare for the snow. I'm buying frozen pizza. Enjoy your milk sandwiches, losers!"

"All those who believe in telekinesis Raise My hand"

"Sex jokes aren't funny I mean cum on people"

"My dad hasn't uncrossed his arms since I was born."

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."

"How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate? He already told you so."

"Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire? He was born ina 1818."

"The inventor of the Red Solo Cup had died. His body was found under the sofa in the living room three days after his death."

"Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, ""What is that?"" I replied, ""A watered down Manhattan."""