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Joke of the Day

"Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire? He was born ina 1818."

"Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize."

"What's the difference between a pill and my penis? A pill can achieve an erection."

"[raises hand in math class] HOW DO PEOPLE WHO WORK AT THE SPAM CORPORATION KNOW WHEN THEY'RE GETTING UNSOLICITED EMAIL?"

"The average person has sex 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!"

"I want to be the reason you pee in six different directions every morning."

"A math teacher ask his students, ""What is 5Q + 5Q?"" The class responds, ""10Q."" The teacher responds, ""You're welcome/"""

"In Newcastle, England many people don't like to live above the seventh floor in a tower block They have a fear of Eights"

"A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three. He began counting ""Uno, dos..."" And he disappeared without a tres."

"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"