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Joke of the Day

"Babies are just footballs that can cry."

"I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food."

"Inspirational tweet: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope yours is a freight train."

"Why are there no gays in a mental asylum? Because they can't wear a strait-jacket."

"In the earliest part of my life I was a man trapped inside a woman's body. Then mom gave birth to me."

"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby daughter? The baby, because she's a little bigger."

"Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves."

"Thought my friend was an alcoholic because he wouldn't shut up about the bar turns out he was studying to be a lawyer"

"What did the frog's girlfriend need when she was on her period? A lily pad."

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."