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Joke of the Day

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."

"I've just bought you all a deck of cards. Deal with it."

"Why dont they use phone books in China? Because they have so many Wing's and Wong's That they might Wing the Wong Numba!!!"

"How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son's dick. (Credit to my uncle)"

"What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? A $100 bill."

"What do you call a slut that just took laxatives? DiWHOREea"

"""I'm THIRSTY!"" ""Can I have a drink?"" ""DAAAAAAAAD!"" ""I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!"" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God."

"I like my drinks like I like my women.... Stiff and cold."

"A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday... It would be funny if this joke had a punchline. Wooden tit."

"You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing"