112266

Joke of the Day

"The best things in life are free. Fuck vowels."

"My girlfriend says I have a sharp tongue ... But I think she's just menstruating."

"My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out."

"HEADLINE: Recent Studies Show Old White Dudes Possibly Becoming Obsolete. ""This is bad for everybody,"" say Old White Dudes."

"Why was the doctor forced to leave work early? The hospital ran all out of patience"

"Apparently watching your lover sleep is only romantic when they know who you are."

"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."

"I just saw some pictures of Ray Rice's wife for the first time... she's a real knock out."

"Can someone call me right now? I'm at the dog park and my ringtone is a doorbell."

"I have this wart. I didn't like it at first, but it grew on me."